Compassion For Yourself

Hello anxious hearts. How are you? I hope you’ve had a good week and restful weekend.

I thought I would share something with you that’s really been helping me daily for a long time now. And I felt it important to share.

I have been re-reading Ruby Wax’s book – Sane new world- Taming the Mind. It’s brilliant and reminds me again that this illness of the mind is actually a neurological problem and not something that should be or can be shaken off like yesterday’s news.

Its too easy to think that we are fully responsible for all our thoughts and how we react to them. That we are always fully responsible for how we are feeling in any given moment. And whilst some of our thinking is controllable, much of it is totally out of our control.

Our brains are literally that of cave men. Still stuck in a millennia that is a million worlds from where we are today. Our brains are simply not equipped for todays world. But we expect our brains to take the daily onslaught of life and the thousands of stresses and stimuli that we face. And it just can’t. And when it can’t, we get frustrated, angry and impatient with ourselves for not reacting in the way we want. We get stressed out and fearful at our responses and we end up feeding the problem.

Whilst reading the book again, the one part that had really struck me first time around was – COMPASSION. It has been proven that when the brain is in a state of stress and arousal, a state that often leads to depression and anxiety, if we treat ourselves with kindness, calm and compassion, then some sense of peace can be restored almost immediately. I have been practising for many months and it has become one of the key techniques that has brought much relief. It really does calm the frantic mind.

Ruby compares the anxious and depressed mind to a wild horse. The more you try to beat it down with shouting, negativity and frustration, the more it reacts. If we talk calmly and with compassion, then the horse calms almost instantly.

Compassion is a word that I haven’t always associated with myself, for myself. I am wholeheartedly compassionate towards everyone in my life, showing love and kindness wherever I can. But I have not always shown myself the same compassion. Instead I Was guilty of a critical voice that felt frustrated with myself. I always felt as though I should be more and do more. Thinking that forceful action equalled peaceful results.

Those around me who love me, only ever showed compassion and understanding towards me. Acknowledging my fight for peace and serenity. So why did I lack it for myself?

Why do we lack compassion for ourselves?

Simply put its part of our neurological wiring. Our brains focus on negatives by default. Out of a million positive thoughts, the brain will always focus on the one negative one. So if this has been you, please don’t be too hard on yourself. It really is a natural reaction.

But I urge you to just try and show yourself some compassion. Some kindness. Some love and understanding. You are fighting something that cannot be fought with aggression. But it can be fought with compassion, kindness, understanding and mindfulness. Check out Ruby’s books. They really are game changers and can show you some insight into the workings of a depressed and anxious brain.

“YOU ARE FIGHTING SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE FOUGHT WITH AGGRESSION

And in the meantime be kind to yourself and I will continue to be kind to myself too.

For all my previous posts on dealing with depression & anxiety click the link.

Onwards always,

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