The Path To Real Confidence

For the longest time, I forgot my own voice. I forgot what I wanted and what I cared about most. I spent way too much time caring what others thought of me rather that what I thought of myself. I spent too much time just giving all I had to everyone who needed it and not leaving anything for myself and the things I truly loved.

I may have appeared confident. Because I was a high achieving anxiety sufferer and I was great at showing people what they wanted to see. But inside I’d lost my way.

My path to self confidence wasn’t about becoming over confident and bolshy. It wasn’t about disgarding others completely for the sake of my own wants and needs. It was more a case of taking a step back, and taking a good hard look at me, the real me, and asking myself what I truly wanted. What did I need? What made me happy? What made me tick? And reconnecting with myself. Once I knew what those things were I made changes. And I began to make those things a priority. And then big changes happened.

I still, more than ever, want good things for those I love. And I also care for the opinions of those I love. But more than ever, I want good things for myself too. And that is my priority. And for the first time I began to value my own opinion above all else again. And in doing so I became a happier, more balanced and more effective Daughter, Sister, Auntie, Cousin and Friend.

So growing your confidence doesn’t mean becoming too big for your boots. It doesn’t mean you care less for others. It means that You spend time growing to know yourself. As a whole person, completely. And most of all, growing to like that person. And valuing her opinion above all.

So if you struggle with lack of confidence and anxiety, take comfort in knowing that I did too for a long time, when I lost my way a bit. But you are able to change that. And it can grow again with patience and love and care. Just by taking the time to make your opinion of yourself, THE most important thing, you can create magic. To always stand for what you believe in and love, with absolute conviction is a wonderful and freeing feeling. It takes practice and time, but I can honestly say it’s been the greatest gift I’ve given myself. I’m not perfect at it, I still have days where old habits die hard. But for the most part I’m now strong in my convictions.

There’s an amazing book by Author and Therapist Chloe Brotheridge called ‘Brave New Girl’. It’s a simple and wonderful read. And may give you some ideas on managing anxiety in general and building confidence.

Onwards my loves

Kiki x

Trusting Thoughts

The Tree

A Mindfulnessw Guide for The Frazzled – Ruby Wax

Power of Now – Elkhart Tolle

The High Five Habit – Mel Robbins

The Beauty In The Darkness Pinterest Boards

The Universe Has Your Back – Gabby Bernstein

Sane New World – Ruby Wax