Techniques- Let’s pretend

Let’s play let’s pretend. Do you remember that as a child. Pretending to be someone else, usually a grown up or a doctor or teacher. It was a game that offered hours of fun pretending to be someone else. Playing make believe.

Now I’ve dabbled with acting over the years. But what we are talking about here today is about wearing a different hat for a few hours. Putting a smile on. About pretending you are ok when in fact inside, you feel like crap or like a bag of Jelly.

Over the years, having lived as a depressive and anxiety sufferer, it was always hard for me to show the world my true self when I was depressed or anxious. My self at my very worst and most vulnerable. This has generally only been seen by those closest to me. Historically, if I’m in a bad way I tend to pull back from socialising and mixing with others until I’m strong enough to face everyone again, with a smile. That’s the way I like to do it. Thats my coping mechanism.

I may be a depressive but I’m actually a pretty happy person. I don’t actually like to bring down the mood of a friend or situation. So when the time is right and I’m somewhere between heaven and hell, I wear my ‘I’m fine‘ hat. A bit like Worzel Gummidge. I change heads. To the Kiki that I really am. The KIki who isn’t depressed or anxious. I pretend.

Now you may think this seems crazy or far fetched. The truth is many people use this technique every day. It is a rare thing to see the open and naked truth of a person every day. We all use little techniques to get through.

Over the years when I’m wearing the ‘I’m fine’ hat. Or that smile. I’m pretending I’m ok. And what I’ve found over the years, is that if you pretend for long enough, some of it becomes reality. I pretend I’m ok. So I am ok. The make believe becomes a reality.

What this does again, is change your focus. Rather than being consumed inside your head thinking all the negative thoughts and preempting every possible anxious situation, you pretend that you’re ok. The person you are at your best. Or the best version of yourself. You pretend all is well. You pretend what ever makes you feel strong and happy.

Its about giving yourself a break from the reality of what’s really going on inside. If you can pretend for a few hours that you’re doing ok. You might actually find that you start to feel ok. That you gain some strength and momentum that actually spurs on the next stage of recovery. To actually be ok.

It’s not about misleading anybody. It’s about giving you strength. Taking care of your battered heart and soul. Not everyone wants to bear their raw soul. And to be honest, in my experience most people don’t want to see it. They have enough of their own soul to deal with. And that is fine. It’s your soul, so treat it with kid gloves. It’s faking it ’til you’re making it. It’s About tricking your own mind into thinking that you’re just fine even if you’re not.

So the next time you’re low or anxious try taking some deep breaths and tell yourself the words ‘I’m fine’ and although it may be the furthest thing from the truth it actually changes how you feel. Your body relaxes, tension releases.

Another way to instantly improve your mood is to smile. By smiling you release happy chemicals. You cannot be anxious if you’re smiling! So smile away. Pretend you’re fine. If nothing else it buys you time to work on being fine. Fake it whilst you make it. And I promise that there will come a day where you don’t have to pretend any more. You will be fine. You will make it!

Let me know your thoughts. Love and hugs, Kiki xxx