Depression – Gauge symptoms

This may seem an unusual one. But, during my darkest days my mum encouraged me to gauge each day and sometimes each moment on a scale of 1-10. I can assure you that at first I was a 10! But as days passed I may have had 10 minutes or an hour where the darkness and fear were not so bad. From this I could gauge myself as maybe a nine. This simple tool made all the difference to me, as it allowed me to see my progress, no matter how small. This progress gave me hope and strength to keep fighting on.

In the early days you feel you will never get through. The days are so long and every hour is like a lifetime. But when the light comes, even for the shortest time, you can see improvements. But unless you are gauging, you may miss these improvements and you will continue to feel overwhelmed. It will feel like nothing is getting better as the bad far outweighs the good. So keep checking in. The slightest improvement is so crucial and worth noting.

It’s so simple. But so effective. What is there worst you have ever felt? That’s a 10. Then Each day ask yourself. How am I today? Could it be you’re a nine. You may have had 10 minutes of freedom from your thoughts. This is positive. Then if one day is a little better than yesterday, then you may be an eight.

The key is to know that even though improvements may be minimal, they are still happening and without you realising this gives you hope and courage to carry on.

Remember your worst can’t get any worse. When you have hit rock bottom, the only way is up! So you can only improve. Over time you will notice little steps, improvements in your mood or less anxiety. On that day you might feel a seven.

Also. Depression is worse first thing in the morning. The minute you open your eyes it is there. But it does improve over the day. You will start to notice this.

I guess the point here is to change your focus. It is so overwhelming when you are so low and anxious. It’s easy not to see any improvements at all in the early days. You want to pull the duvet over your head as you don’t have the strength to fight. But if you change your focus, and notice moments of relief, then you can hold on to these moments as a good thing. As time passes I guarantee that your pain will diminish. By using the gauge in your mind, you will see the improvements. You will find that one morning, without you noticing, you didn’t need to ask yourself how you are. This means that you are definitely on the up!

It’s important to say here that gauging anxiety attacks is a different thing. You can be in the grips of an attack and be at a 10. But it can’t stay that way for long. Within minutes you may feel the anxiety easing and you can gauge this as it’s grip lessens. You may then be only an eight. Then a five. If you suffer both anxiety and depression it might be useful to have two gauges. One for how your mood is and one for your anxiety.

The hardest thing is that depression and anxiety take time to heal. You may have to wait for medication or therapy to start taking effect. Whilst you’re waiting keep gauging and let those moments of freedom give you hope. All will be well eventually. You are so brave for holding on. But it will be worth it.

Let me know your thoughts, Always Love, Kiki xxx