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NEW! Ebook – What To Do If You Think You’re Depressed.
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- Depression and Anxiety
- General advice
Well being techniques
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Fibromyalgia
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NEW! Ebook – What To Do If You Think You’re Depressed.
About Me
Mental Health
- Depression and Anxiety
- General advice
Well being techniques
Wellness
Heart & Spirit
Lifestyle
Fibromyalgia
Kiki’s bookshelf
Inspirational links
Contact Me
Instagram Page
Checkout

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beautyinthedarknesss

💫Writer Finding Beauty in the Darkness: Family, Faith, Nature, Cups of Tea ✨LLB Law ✨ Clinical Depression✨OCD ✨ ADHD✨PCOS ✨Endo✨M.E✨Fibro ✨ blog

Me smiling 🥰 Life is so strange. It takes you

Me smiling 🥰

Life is so strange. It takes you on paths you never dreamt of. Some of it good. Some of it bad. Really bad. But the last few months have been really, really happy and strong for me. And for anyone who is close and knows my health battles, you know how important this is. Not just to me, but to my family too. And for this happiness, I’m wholeheartedly grateful. We all are. 🙏🏻
🌷
It just feels like I’ve woken from a long slumber. But stronger, wiser and more content than I’ve ever felt. But with a heart that feels bigger. Abundant. Grateful. Peaceful and with a greater capacity to love. If that’s even possible.
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It could change in a heartbeat. And it’s been known to do so. But for now I’m relishing in the joy of being present and happy and able to be here for Mama and Papa and Lu and Dave and my Bea.
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Life is all about family now. Us all. Or certainly in this era of my life it is. I just don’t have the capacity physically to do any more than that. I’m so restricted. And I love it. Most of the time. But there are so many people in my life that brought and bring joy, laughter, love, hugs and just general happiness and adventure, and I always miss that. So I’m saying hello, and hoping you’re ok?
🌷
Today was a good day. Lal doing ok having been really poorly. She’s Taking it very slow. We did lots of jobs and some gardening. I’ve repurposed a rose that was ready for the bin. And now she is coming on amazing 🌿. I’ll post that seperately.
🌷
Summer break is coming and I just wanted to say that if times are feeling tough right now. If there feels only darkness, doubt or fear. Even though there’s sunshine. If you’re exhausted by it all. Just have faith. Trust. Put one foot in front of the other. Take good care of yourself physically and mentally. And know that it will change. It May not be today or tmw. But it will. I promise you. And you won’t have to do anything at all to change it, other than wait.
🌷
Something will change your path. Something that you do not expect. And at first it may seem like a nightmare, but know that this may be the greatest blessing of your life.

Sending all the love in my heart. To you and yours.
Always,
Kiki x

I’m no videographer 🥴 this is just a test rea

I’m no videographer 🥴 this is just a test really. I miss face to face connections and seeing people smile so much. So thought I’d film me back in the bed again, after a strong morning. Let me know if you like it 🦋 have a great day team 🤍🦋✨🦄

Love 🤍 #strengthofawoman

Love 🤍

#strengthofawoman

I had a proud moment on the weekend. One of my art

I had a proud moment on the weekend. One of my articles was published on the @elephantjournal. I’m a tiny drop on a large New York Times owned website. But I write because I love it and I hope that it helps even just one person. So to know it’s out there to be seen and heard is a humbling thing. I’m a huge @elephantjournal fan and have been for over 10 years. So this makes it even more special to me. Please take a look when you have 5 mins and share the love if you’re so inclined. I’ll share this to stories with the link to the article.
Thanks all for always supporting all I do and say. I truly am so grateful 💛🙏🏻✨

I’ll link in stories with a permanent highlight link x

https://elejrnl.com/?p=3659879

Apologies to those who’ve already read this on my personal page. I wanted it here too 🤍🙏🏻

Hello my anxious hearts. How are you doing? I’m

Hello my anxious hearts. How are you doing? I’m just dropping in to say hi and apologise for the radio silence. 🌿

At the start of lockdown 14 weeks ago, I decided that I may be able to offer words of comfort or encouragement, whilst you started to live life in isolation. I have lived a limited life for a long time and I thought that if my words or experience, could bring any comfort then I was happy to do it. And I have loved putting out content for you. 🌿

I guess we thought at the outset, that lockdown would last a few weeks. And although I knew very well, that I would be isolated for much longer, we could not have envisaged it lasting so long. And little did we envisage the impact it would make or the toll it would take on us. Nor could we have foreseen the battle that so many were to face. 🌿
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But, throughout this time, I have watched my family, friends and loved ones use this difficult time to just be there for one another. To share with each other at the end of another tough day. To check in more. To laugh at the madness. To relish the quiet. To cry at the heartbreak. To scream and shout with each other when we couldn’t take one more moment of this insanity.🌿
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Most of all though, we have shared love. ❤️
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And whilst it has been a rollercoaster of highs and lows. Of watching loved ones struggle so hard some days and feeling at a loss as to how we could soothe them, we have found that our loving relationships - whether that be lovers, friends, family - have meant more to us than ever. I don’t know about you, but I have never appreciated the love in my life, more than I have these past 14 weeks. It’s something that I can’t really put into words. 🌿
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I have definitely found the past 14 weeks a roller coaster. Some days have been too much, whilst others have been pure bliss whilst appreciating nothing more than birdsong and sunshine. And slower life has been good life. 🌿
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I’m so sorry that my words of comfort and advice were cut short. My physical health took a turn for the worst so I was unable to write for you. Thankfully the body is doing much better. The mood is light. And even though the sun isn’t shining right now, I feel blessed. 🌿
Cont in comments

2 posts on a Saturday night 🥰 It just occurred

2 posts on a Saturday night 🥰 It just occurred to me that it’s Saturday night and I’m writing posts about confidence 😂😄 The days and nights have become one. I’m sorry my loves. 🤍
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Today has been a really good day. The sun was shining. I saw my bubs from a 2 metre distance, I had a really good catch up with sissy, who I had been missing a lot these past few days. Pain has been minimal and all feels well with my small world 🤍
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I know at any given time this is not true for everyone. So no matter what I hope you’re doing ok my loves. I hope you’re able to find small pockets of joy and I really hope that the sunshine gave rise to some freedom today 🤍
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I also wanted to say that I hope you don’t mind that my posts come at you at varying times on varying days. Some days more than others and sometimes longer gaps between posts. My posts are not scheduled and if I’m inspired by something I always want to share🤍
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My physical limitations mean I can’t ever run to a schedule. It will always be ad hoc when I’m feeling good and the stars are aligned. 🤍
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So as always I hope my words offer some comfort no matter what the schedule and I hope that they continue to bring something to you.
I appreciate every message, like, share and comment. No matter what day it is! 🤍
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So Happy Saturday my loves. And happy weekend. Have a great one, well talk next week ❤️❤️❤️🌈😘😘😘
Kiki
Xox
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#covid19 #covidanxiety #covidmentalhealth #whatiknowforsure #blog #blogger #loveyourself #selfcare #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #fibromyalgia #cfs #chronicillness #strength #courage #fearless #emotionalwellbeing

🌿CONFIDENCE🌿 - For the longest time, I forgo

🌿CONFIDENCE🌿
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For the longest time, I forgot my own voice. I forgot what I wanted and what I cared about most. I spent way too much time caring what others thought of me rather that what I thought of myself. I spent too much time just giving all I had to everyone who needed it and not leaving anything for myself and the things I truly loved🤍
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I may have still appeared confident. Because in truth I have always been confident. But when my anxiety was high, my esteem was low, I became great at pretending. But inside I’d lost my way. 🤍
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My path to self confidence wasn’t about becoming over confident and bolshy. It wasn’t about disgarding others completely for the sake of my own wants and needs. It was more a case of taking a step back, and taking a good hard look at me, the real me, and asking myself what I truly wanted. What did I need? What made me happy? What made me tick? And reconnecting with myself. Once I knew what those things were I made changes. And I began to make those things a priority. And then big changes happened. 🤍
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I still, more than ever, want good things for those I love. And I also care for the opinions of those I love. But more than ever, I want good things for myself too. And that is my priority. And for the first time I began to value my own opinion above all else again. And in doing so I became a happier, more balanced and more effective Daughter, Sister, Auntie, Cousin and Friend. 🤍
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So growing your confidence doesn’t mean becoming too big for your boots. It doesn’t mean you care less for others. It means that You spend time growing to know yourself. As a whole person, completely. And most of all, growing to like that person. And valuing her opinion above all. 🤍
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So if you struggle with lack of confidence and anxiety, take comfort in knowing that I did too for a long time, when I lost my way a bit. But you are able to change that. And it can grow again with patience and love and care. Just by taking the time to make your opinion of yourself, THE most important thing, you can create magic......🤍 -
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Cont in comments

Thank You for your love, care and kindness on toni

Thank You for your love, care and kindness on tonight’s earlier post here and on Facebook . I’m so grateful for you all. You made a tough day so much better just from your words. And it was good to laugh at the madness of it all 🤍
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We may not all be in the same boat - some have it so much worse - but we each have a story and we’re all doing the best we can in this storm. So Thank You and never ever stop sharing your love ❤️❤️❤️ #bekind #dontjudge #supporteachother -
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#covid19 #covidanxiety #covidmentalhealth #whatiknowforsure #blog #blogger #loveyourself #selfcare #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #fibromyalgia #cfs #chronicillness #strength #courage #fearless emotionalwellbeing

In case you needed reminding at the moment my love

In case you needed reminding at the moment my loves ❤️❤️❤️
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#covid19 #covidanxiety #covidmentalhealth #whatiknowforsure #blog #blogger #loveyourself #selfcare #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #fibromyalgia #cfs #chronicillness #strength #courage #fearless emotionalwellbeing

At the start of a new week, I just wanted to offer

At the start of a new week, I just wanted to offer some words of encouragement 🌿
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It’s tough out there at the moment. Whilst there are lots of moments of joy coming through, many lives have been negatively affected by this disease. And the way that our lives have changed, is beyond recognition. All that held us up and held us together is no longer there🌿
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You may be doubting yourself and your strength. You may not think you can do it. You may be faltering and emotional. And that’s ok. It’s a natural fear to have in a crisis. But just remember that every one of us has a basic human strength, that often goes untapped. It’s unseen and hardly used. But it is there. We all have it. 🌿
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So even at the most testing times. Even when you feel you don’t think you have the strength for it. You do. And you will get through. 🌿
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I feel the sense of togetherness is so strong. A sense of community. Even in these dark times, people are coming together virtually, to support and love and care and cheer each other on. 🌿
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And whilst this may be some of the most testing times for many, I hope you can know your greatness and I hope you can still believe in yourself and your strength and the love of others around you. 🌿

So Take each day. Or even each moment. Deal only with what is in front of you - don’t look too far ahead - as we have no way of knowing what will come. Just know that whatever comes, we will face it. And we will face it together. 🌿
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And remember if all you do is keep you and yours safe and well, then that is enough. More than enough. Stay strong. ❤️🌈
Onwards my loves.
Kiki
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#covid19 #covidanxiety #covidmentalhealth #whatiknowforsure #blog #blogger #loveyourself #selfcare #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #fibromyalgia #cfs #chronicillness #strength #courage #fearless emotionalwellbeing

🌿Planning & Dreaming🌿 - This is tough at the

🌿Planning & Dreaming🌿
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This is tough at the moment. Our movements are restricted and we don’t know for how long. The days can seem long and endless. But planning you, yourself and your life, is a hugely uplifting thing to do. 🌿
Call it dreaming. Call it hoping. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it transports you away from what’s happening right here and right now. It’s escapism.🌿 -
Pinterest is really great tool. It’s not just a collection of images, it’s a tool for inspiration, hope, aspirations, dreams, plans and research. And it can really make you feel as though you’re moving forward. 🌿
If you love to travel or if you love a staycation, still plan it. Maybe you hope for house renovations or even moving house. Maybe you want to take up yoga or a new hobby. You can search for those inspiring images and ideas and save them. Let the dream and vision of yourself in the future, fill you up. 🌿
Over the many years I’ve been at home, I’ve used this tool of hoping and dreaming to really make changes to my life. When days were long and hard, I spent many hours on Pinterest just planning my future, with a clear vision in my mind. And I’ve taken small steps to get there. 🌿
Maybe you’re thinking of changing career paths. Then maybe think what are you passionate about and see if you can match your skills to that passion to find something that could really change your life. Even if it just becomes a side line. 🌿
Looking forward to a delivery of something new for yourself at the end of a long week, is amazing. It’s not materialistic, it’s a nod to your own self respect and care and your certainty for the future . And is a hope for better days when you get to show off your new finds🌿
Anything goes when you’re planning and dreaming. There’s no limit. So go for it. I’ve proved to myself time and time again that holding visions and believing, really does pay off. It’s not a waste of time. It’s the complete opposite. It’s a nod to your belief in yourself and your life. Your future and that of your families. 🌿
So no matter what, keep dreaming my loves,
Onwards
Kiki xox
📸: @darlingbudsdevon
https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thebeautyinthed

🌿Comparison is The Thief of Joy🌿 Even in th

🌿Comparison is The Thief of Joy🌿

Even in these most testing times we are still guilty of comparing our life to others. Even now social media is flooded with people sharing their daily wins and all the amazing things they are doing during lockdown. 🌿
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There will always be someone having more fun, baking more cakes, doing more exercise, completing more amazing projects and generally looking as though they totally have their life together, than you. 🌿
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But remember that on social media, and even in the outside world, we are all guilty of showing only the good bits. 🌿
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My life is nothing like I had once dreamed. I’m not even sure what those dreams were back then. But I know they weren’t for my highest good and I’m happy that things are working out just as they should. 🌿
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I stopped comparing my life to that of my friends and family, a long time ago. And it brought immeasurable peace. 🌿
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So Don’t ever compare yourself to others. Life is not a race. We all travel a path of this life and we all reach milestones and goals at a different pace and at different times. 🌿
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Were not meant to be the same as everyone else. It’s not a competition. And I now get my happiness in many ways that are not comparable to the norm. 🌿
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At the moment when our mental health is being tested daily and we may even feel low and in a place of fear, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap🌿
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But Comparison steals the joy from your life. Your life is unique to you and even if you’re not having enough zoom parties or walking your mile a day, you’re still doing amazing things. Even if that’s just keeping you and you’re loved ones safe and happy. 🌿
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So don’t compare. Live your life as best you can at this time and allow others to do the same. We may never see the pain or hurt that they are going through because most of us don’t share those messy bits as a norm. 🌿
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Live and let live. Celebrate each other’s wins and celebrate your own small ones too. No matter what they may be 🌿
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Have a great day my loves
Onwards
Kiki
Xo

Happy Sunday my loves. 🌿 I hope you’re doing

Happy Sunday my loves. 🌿
I hope you’re doing ok and enjoyed the wonderful sun today.🌿
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I’ve not looked at social media today and hardly touched my phone. That’s a first for me of late 🌿
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It’s been a really wonderful day and weekend. I’ve really enjoyed my new fave tipple the Aperol Spritz - its going down too well 🥂🥰 and loved sharing it virtually with my svd. I had a party for 1 last night with old school tunes whilst on a catch up with my Bella girl. Then today we’ve sat in the sun in our beautiful garden and had wonderful food, more Aperol, and then quick catch ups with sissy and Bea. I have just got into bed as the bones are hurting, but after such a wonderful weekend I don’t mind as my heart is so full. I feel so grateful in this moment 🙏🏻✨🌿
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These are strange times for sure my loves, and it’s a roller coaster of emotions, but there are definite moments of magic happening, even if at first they are not obvious. I hope you’re finding them too. ❤️🌈🌿
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To finish off I just watched Celine Dion, Andrea Bocelli and Lady Gaga perform my fave ‘The Prayer’ from The One World concert, and it was incredible ❤️😢🙏🏻🌿
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I really hope you’re all doing ok. And I really hope we all have a good week and this sunshine and good feeling stick around a while.
I send you all my love 💕💕💕
Kiki xo

❤️ #morganharpernichols

❤️
#morganharpernichols

🌿Allow Yourself To Feel 🌿 Right now emotion

🌿Allow Yourself To Feel 🌿

Right now emotions high, mood is low and some are caught up in a cycle of worry and despair 🌿
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Whilst we are making the
Most of this awful situation. For many it is becoming so testing at times. 🌿
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We naturally push bad feelings away, we don’t want to feel them and we don’t want to think about them. And if this is a strategy that’s always worked for you then do continue. 🌿
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But honoring our feelings is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves. We are entitled to feel so confused, so out of control and so worried at the moment 🌿
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Honoring the fact that we are sad or confused or feeling like we’re free falling because of lack of control is ok. 🌿
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Often times, anxiety is a result of old feelings we didn’t allow Ourselves to feel at the time. 🌿
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So One of the simplest techniques to start to honour your feelings as they come is RAIN. First we just RECOGNISE how we are feeling in the moment. Notice what you’re feeling. Then we ACCEPT It for what it is. And allow it to
Be there. Allow it to move through us. We Don’t push it away. Then we INVESTIGATE it a little more, question why you’re feeling that way what’s causing the bad feeling. And finally we NEUTRALISE the thoughts and feelings by nurturing ourselves. We do this by being kind to ourselves. And talking ourselves through it as we would a best friend. 🌿
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Pushing feelings away is not always healthy. I was never one to feel what I was feeling in the moment. But now I allow myself to feel whatever comes up. I use this technique and move through them. 🌿
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With practice you get used to allowing ALL feelings. Let the good and the bad be what they are. 🌿
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Also, it’s important to note that a big fat cry is also so good for you. So let those emotions come🌿
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All you can do is your best right now my loves. And that will change every day. Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re navigating the most testing times. 🌿
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I hope you have a good weekend. I’m thinking of you.
Onwards always
Kiki xox

🌿Today is done 🌿 - You did your best with wh

🌿Today is done 🌿
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You did your best with what you have. And given the current state of our worlds, this is a huge achievement. So now you can let go knowing that you could do no more. Tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes in it. So let tomorrow come and take just one step at a time.🌿
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Stay home, Stay safe and take good care of yourself, your heart and that of your loved ones. 🌿
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Onwards my love
Kiki xox
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#covid19 #covidanxiety #covidmentalhealth #whatiknowforsure #whatnanwouldsay #blog #blogger #loveyourself #selfcare #selflove #mentalhealthawareness #depression #anxiety #fibromyalgia #cfs #chronicillness #strength courage #fearless #wellbeing

🌿Easter Wishes🌿
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Happy Easter my loves. It’s likely to be a strange one for many this year, being apart from our loved ones. Many still working and juggling family life. But we will make the best of it as much as we can 🌿
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Easter holds so many amazing memories for me. The holiest time for us as a family. Being with my Nan and Pap and all the family having a big lunch. And it’s most definitely the first signs of spring and a new season of new beginnings. It’s also a sign of hope to me. That there are always better things to come. 🌿
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We’re all doing pretty good here. We’ve definitely relaxed a bit more in the last few days. Getting used to a slower pace and spending more time together. 🌿
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I didnt feel too good in the day yesterday. But we did some gardening and then Last night I shared dinner and wine on the patio with my beautiful ma and pa, for whom I’m so grateful at Easter and all year through. So It was wonderful. Then I went into the conservatory with the doors open and there was a sense of peace for me 🌿
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I hope this Easter time, although very different, will find love and peace and blessings for you all.🌿
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I come to you from the #shed 🤣🤪🥰 it’s definitely my favourite place when I need a little head space. It’s a sun trap too, So it will be #headintheshed for the foreseeable 🌿
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This print I bought for the conservatory 3 months ago. Maybe it was a sign ✨❤️ I’m Wishing you and yours a wonderful and peaceful Easter. Stay home and stay safe. We’ll talk again next week. 🌿
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Remember if all you do is keep you and yours happy and safe, then that is enough. More than enough. ❤️🌿
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Sending all my love
Onwards,
Kiki x

🌿 IF ALL YOU DID TODAY....🌿 - These are real

🌿 IF ALL YOU DID TODAY....🌿
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These are really trying times my loves. And whilst we are all trying to remain upbeat, positive and share our daily wins, people are hurting too. 🌿
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Everything we rely on as support for ourselves, our mental health and our families, has been stripped back. 🌿
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So if you’re struggling right now that’s ok. You’re allowed that. And there is nothing wrong with admitting it’s all a bit much. 🌿
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My mama friends out there in particular are having the hardest time. They are expected to be all things to all people and the truth is it’s too much to ask. Being Mother, Teacher, Entertainer, Cook, Cleaner, Organiser, Doctor, Wife, Sister, Daughter & Friend all whilst working too. 🌿
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So if all you did today and every coming day of this quarantine, is keep yourself and your family alive and well, then that is enough. It’s more than enough. It’s huge. And Likely it will be one of your greatest achievements when you look back in years to come. Because in the end thats all that matters. And all that should ever matter. And it should be applauded along with every person out there doing great things. 🌿
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So if all you did today is realise what an amazing job you’re doing and cut yourself some slack, then that is amazing. And it is my greatest wish for you. 🌿
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Hold your strength. We’ll get through this. We’ve gotten through every single trial in our life so far. Let’s just remember to only boost each other up, because we’re all just doing our best. 🌿
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Sending all my love and strength.
Onwards my loves,

Kiki
X

🌿Comfort Yourself🌿 What brings you comfort a

🌿Comfort Yourself🌿
What brings you comfort at difficult times? What do you do to ease your heart and mind? Whatever it is, do more of it. Or as much as you can in the circumstances. 🌿
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We are in the middle of a crisis right now. And for many, their mental health is suffering. So comfort in any shape or form is very important. 🌿
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If it’s gonna be a tough day then I do things to comfort myself. To support myself 🌿
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Some of my favourites:
🌿Wear something thats comforting - I put on my favourite sweatshirt. It makes me feel comforted and Safe and calm. 🌿Make yourself a cuppa - I’m a big time tea drinker and will put the kettle on a million times during the day. 🌿Aroma - Smell something that makes me feel good. Something that’s calming or that evokes a happy memory. 🌿Self care - I do my skincare routine. This is a bit of pampering for me. It zones me out and makes me feel good. But it could be anything that makes you feel good. 🌿Music - I Listen to my favourite chill out play list
🌿Talk - I reach out to my support network. I Tell them how I’m feeling. There is nothing wrong with admitting you’re struggling a bit at the moment. 🌿Move - I stretch/yoga or walk. 🌿 Words - I read something to uplift me. 🌿Clean sheets - A fresh clean bed makes you feel good. And you can look forward to getting into it tonight. 🌿Create - I sew or write. But it can be anything. Bake a cake. Whatever makes you feel nice but also distracts you for a while. 🌿Take a bath or shower - This is soothing to the senses. A hot shower in the dark calms the nervous system if you’re stressed or anxious. As does a warm bath. 🌿Stay focused on the present - I try not to let my mind overthink. So I try to keep my worries at bay by focusing on the here and now. Breathing and focusing on something here in the room. 🌿Rest - rest and restore as much as you’re able even if it’s 10 mins🌿 Spiritual - I also take care of my soul. Whether that be meditation, praying or just breathing. 🌿
It’s difficult times at the moment my friends. But remember if you do nothing more than keep you and yours alive and well, then that is enough. More than enough. And We’re all in this together.
Onwards always,
Kiki xo

Happy Sunday my loves 🌿 🌿 How are you doing?

Happy Sunday my loves 🌿
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How are you doing? Are you ok?🌿
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I woke today not feeling too great. Pain is bad and Fatigue not much better. I’ve had a really good run of days feeling so good 🙌🏻...but the reminder always comes that I’ve done too much. My body says No! And the mood the same. But in truth I’ve never been great at pacing. I’m supposed to. But for me, that means every day would be average. So I rather push while I can and then accept a little pay back. And given the current situation, it’s important to grab those good days and enjoy them as much as you can. They keep us all going. 🌿
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I may be hiding out here in the potting shed with the #allpurpose 🤪🤣 but the lighting is too good and the glow up is real! 🙌🏻❤️ ...but I need to learn to smile in selfies 🤦🏻‍♀️🥰 🌿
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So let’s focus on the good stuff (even if it’s just peace in the shed with good lighting 🤣) as much as possible. 🌿 -
I’m back in bed now and will take a rest day. Hope you’re doing ok my loves 🌿
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Sending all my love for a good day ❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘
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Accepting What Is
08/04/2023
Working on Yourself
03/04/2023
Ticker Tape of Thoughts
31/03/2023

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Accepting What Is
08/04/2023
Working on Yourself
03/04/2023
Ticker Tape of Thoughts
31/03/2023

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