THOUGHTFUL SPOT // Baby steps. 

By nature I do not take baby steps. Ever. I take leaping, huge, desperate steps, in an effort to get better quicker. But. I tell you now. It does NOT work.

There are so many words of wisdom, passed down thousands of years, that encourage you to take one step at a time. To walk before you can run. All aimed to remind us that rushing through anything in life gets you nowhere fast. This applies exactly the same to your mental health and well-being.

Whilst in the throws of an episode of depression or struggling with crippling daily anxiety, it is only natural to want to rid yourself of the pain. And this applies to any type of stress you are facing and for whatever the reason. You feel like crap and you want to be better. Now!

Way back when I was first suffering depression and horrendous anxiety, I remember that desperation. And today when I still battle daily with mental and physical anguish, I want the problem fixed. I want it gone. Now!

So I read every book, eat all the right foods, take some exercise and take any required meds. So why am I not getting better quicker? Why am I not back to myself already?!

What you have to realise is this (and I have to remind myself too), if you are suffering stress related illness or anxiety, then it’s likely that your body is highly wired right now. Every nerve literally has bells on it. Your body is highly sensitized to stress. Now, you may take the stress away and make immediate inroads to getting better with a variety of methods, but your nerves still shake and your mind will still race. And probably your body is tired too. That’s because your poor body had been through a lot.

If you had broken your leg, you would rest it for 6 weeks and think nothing of it. But when it comes to the mind we want immediate healing. Well the bad news is, it just does not happen that way. It will get better. I promise. But you must have patience.

Telling a depressed person that they have to wait 4 to 6 weeks to see improvements from medication, feels like a life sentence. I remember that feeling well. You wonder how you will ever get through another day. But you will. And you will, if you take baby steps.

You have to allow all the good you’re doing to have a chance to do its work. This does not happen over night. I wish I could tell you it did.

My best advice for you is accepting where you are right now. Acknowledging it. Accepting that you are doing all you can to improve. And then take baby steps. And I mean baby steps. Each day you may find a slight improvement in some way. This is good. If you take two steps back the following day, that’s ok too. It’s just how it goes. But eventually over time and with all the patience you can muster, things start to improve. Struggling and fighting against your pain will only make matters worse. So let it be. And take a small step, every day.

These small steps could be anything; getting out of bed when you desperately want to hide under the covers. Or getting dressed. Or reading a book again for the first time in months. Or meeting a friend for a coffee. Whatever the small step may be, it is a positive step in the right direction. Huge sweeping steps may only disappoint you and throw you back. The small things add up. And some days you will add to them. And some days you won’t. But that’s ok.

I have never had patience when it comes to my mental health. It’s not something I’m good at. I’m a very patient person in all aspects of my life, for the people around me. But when it comes to me, I most definitely am not. And I still, even twenty years down the line, want to feel better today! If I’m going through a bad patch, I still do everything so quickly, to get better faster. But the truth is I am actually hindering my progress. That additional pressure is more stress on the body. And my body has had enough stress, I can tell you.

Looking too far ahead and forecasting the worst does not help either. If you concentrate literally on the moment in hand, the next few steps, then the days will come with ease. Baby steps with your thinking, are crucial too. Looking at the big picture is just too much in your situation. So just think about today. Right now. The next few hours. That will do.

So no matter what stage of recovery you are at, remember each little step forward, each baby step, will get you there in the end. This is not a sprint. It is most definitely a marathon.

I promise with the right approach you will get better. Whatever your chosen approach is. But take it slow. Take the pressure off yourself. Acknowledge your battered body and soul and allow them time to heal. As you would with any other part of your body.

Small steps make huge progress.

Some of my favourite quotes :
“Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” ~ Chinese Proverb.

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” ~ John Wooden.

“Take small steps every day and one day you will get there.” ~ Unknown.

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” ~ Chinese Proverb.

“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop” ~ Confucius.

“Do small things with great love.” ~ Mother Theresa.

Onwards and upwards my loves. Kiki Xx