WELL-BEING TECHNIQUES  // Anxiety and fortune telling. 

Do you predict the worst? Do you think about events or situations ahead of time and imagine the worst happening?

It’s so common with anxiety to think about things that haven’t even happened yet, and predict your worst fears coming true.  

In the world of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), it’s called ‘fortune telling’. I did it for years when anxiety played a big part of my life. And even now, if there is some big occasion or event where I have to ‘perform’ I can’t help but imagine my worst fears coming true.

The truth is that it’s a coping mechanism. It’s a way of trying to control the future so that you can have a handle on it. To protect yourself. To leave yourself less vulnerable. But unfortunately none of us can control the future. None of us can control every minute of the day.

When you’re fortune telling I can guarantee you’re predicting the worst. If it’s linked to depression and anxiety then It’s hardly ever a happy prediction.

By following this behaviour we can quite often start to avoid things. Avoidance is common. Because we think the worst, and in our minds guarantee that it will happen, so rather than face it we avoid it.

This is not good for many reasons. Foremost, by avoiding something, you only make the fear worse. It grows in strength and becomes bigger than ever in your mind. It also means you’re missing out. You’re missing out on life. All in your attempts to stop something ‘bad’ happening. Whatever your bad is.

There are many wise words about worry. One of my favorites is – ” Worrying about tomorrow only takes the joy from today.”

Shit happens. Something bad may happen. What you have to ask yourself is, what is the worst? What can possibly be so bad that you avoid something because of it? Once you’ve determined the worst, just think about it. Is it really that bad? And what are the real chances of it happening?

Life constantly throws us curveballs. We can’t avoid them. That’s life. Lives change in an instant. What we can do, is change our attitude towards it. If you you’re worrying about future events that have not happened, and may never happen then stop! Take a breath.

Recognizing what you’re doing is half the battle. So if this has given some light on your behavior, then use it as awareness. This awareness will help you. Predicting negative outcomes is a habit. Replace it with positive predictions and truly ask yourself, when has something really bad ever happened? I bet you have imagined the worst on many occasions, but how many of those worst fears ever came true? Not many I expect.

So remember, we can predict the worst. Or we can have faith in ourselves and the situation, and be confident that we can deal with anything. As this confidence grows, as will our faith in ourselves and in our abilities to manage any situation.

Believe in your strength and believe in yourself. If ever in doubt, remember how far you’ve come. I doubt you’ve ever not got through.

Onwards my loves, Kiki xox

” You are smart, you are kind, you are beautiful and you are important.”